I worked with a guy who'd often say: "That's not an interesting question. The interesting question is..." and he'd turn it upside down.
I had a client ask me: "If you think I'm to blame in the situation, will you tell me?"
I answered: "Whether you were right or wrong, or to blame or not, that's not an interesting question. It won't give us a useful answer. If I say yes, then what? What can you do with that? No, the interesting question is, why did you, and why did they, behave like you/they did? What was the motivation? That answer is useful for future actions."
Stop blaming yourself and others.
Who's to blame is not the interesting question.
Find a more interesting question instead - one that's helpful and expansive, instead of limiting.
Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices!
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