I've been ending these blogs with 'your life, your choice' for some time. That's to say that just because I have an opinion doesn't make it the 'right' one for anybody else.
I've come across this quote/poem that I, sadly, don't know who to attribute it to, so please let me know if you know but let's just stress, these are not my words (though I wish they were in all their simplicity and beauty):
"To live by choice, not by chance
To be motivated, not manipulated
To be useful, not used
To make changes, not excuses
To excel, not compete
I choose self-esteem, not self-pity
I choose to listen to my inner voice, not the random opinions of others.
I choose to be Me"
When we say: "He makes me feel so sad."
Or, "She made me feel so angry"
Or, "They made me feel so worthless"
Or, "He made me..."
Or, "I lost my temper because my son was throwing a tantrum"
we're both giving away control of ourselves but also responsibility, and thereby, also refusing to take responsibility - for ourselves and our feelings.
What makes you feel sad, angry, worthless or any other emotion due to someone else's behaviour, actions or words won't have the same impact on someone else. What you might find offensive, someone else might find funny. So, is it the offending person that's the issue or your attitude?
Is it the offending person that must change or your own behaviour, actions, words or feelings?
What would it look like if you take control and responsibility for your own feelings and reactions? And let others take responsibility for their words and actions?
What would it look like if instead of saying 'he made me feel...' you say 'I choose to feel...'
Until next time, take care, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices!
Here at School of Thoughts we stand for and promote a
#CultureOfImperfection #GenerousContribution #RadicalKindness #EthicalDecisions #HaveFunBeFree
This is a daily, micro-blog, taking less than 2 minutes to read, offering you insights into how presumptions, beliefs and stories shape our lives and worldview, for better or worse.