I often get asked: How do I stop feeling guilty.
My question is: Why would you want to?
Guilt is an alarm bell telling you that you are or have violated a value or belief that's important to you.
I once heard of a woman who was leaving her job but she couldn't tell her bosses. If she told them too early, they were likely to remove her earned bonus which she relied on for her children's college fees. But she also had a beliefs that said: Don't lie. Be loyal. Don't cause problems for others.
So, she felt guilty for lying and felt disloyal, and so felt even more guilty.
But what if she learned to see and feel guilt as a good feeling? It's alerting her to what's important.
Instead of running away from it, why not honour it as the feeling you get because you're a kind and considered person? After all, sociopaths and narcissists don't feel guilt.
What would happen if we felt happy about guilt as it's a moral compass?
Leaned in to it?
Asked it questions like: What's better - the short relief of guilt by doing X, or the long-term benefits of sticking to my guns and doing Y and live with guilt for a little while?
Your life, your choice!
This is a daily, micro-blog, taking less than 2 minutes to read, offering you insights into how presumptions, beliefs and stories shape our lives and worldview, for better or worse.