I've seen a lot of posts saying that negative events like staying too long in a bad relationship or overcoming various adversities aren't a waste of time or something to regret or be sad about as it's made you a stronger and more insightful person.
These sort of posts reminds us that we can always find a silver lining in the bad if we choose.
And, in theory, considering my main philosophy is that we control our lives by the way we think, I should be a fan.
But I find these sorts of posts shaming, actually.
Because what if you really want to be sad or angry about past events? What if what happened just really wasn't fair and you wholeheartedly didn't deserve to be treated the way you did - is it then not OK to sit with these feelings (as long as they don't take over your life) and just think "that was rubbish! I deserved better! I did not need this 'lesson' to live a better life or become a stronger person. I could have been strong and happy without going through this."
I think so.
I think we have to be careful to not shame ourselves out of feeling the pain by reading too many inspirational posts online.
We do not need to sugarcoat abuse or make the taste of it sweeter.
Your life, your choice!
This is a daily, micro-blog, taking less than 2 minutes to read, offering you insights into how presumptions, beliefs and stories shape our lives and worldview, for better or worse.