 I don't know anyone who likes to be harshly judged or to have wrongful presumptions made about them. And yet, most of us are really good at judging others and make wrongful presumptions about life around us and the people in it.
How lazy! How lazy it is to tease someone because they're not like you but you don't take the time to ask why they do things differently. How lazy to presume your way is better without first checking if there are other alternatives out there and be open to being challenged. How lazy to make passive-aggressive comments about other people's choices because they don't align with yours, especially if you haven't taken the time to check how good your choices really are. Wouldn't it be a more fun world if we paused our judgemental presumptions and engaged in eye-opening conversations instead? Expanded our horizon, extended our thinking, grew as humans, developed, learned and connected on a deeper level? Your life, your choice!
0 Comments
 My to-do list is longer than my grandmother's and the generations before her because I choose to have a smartphone, social media, do online courses, read for pleasure and knowledge, because I have the opportunity and money to plan and book more holidays, to worry about my style and fashion choices, because of having a car, or house, or boat, or TV full of streaming services.
My to-do list is based on privilege and opportunities. Sometimes our hard-knock lives are fairly luxurious. After all, every item on it is a choice. Your life, your choice!  Imagine you had a boss who said:
'You're useless! Why are you so stupid? You can't do anything right, can you?' Imagine you heard your best friend's partner say to your friend: 'No one will miss you if you died. You're unwanted and unloved. Maybe you should kill yourself! The world would be better off.' Imagine you overheard a mother say to her young child: 'I wish you'd never been born. You're such a waste of space.' We'd react, right? We'd protest. We'd jump in to defend or report. We take action. Because such words are uncalled for, unacceptable, cruel and harmful. And yet, this is the inner dialogue of so many which goes unchecked, unchanged and left to flourish. Maybe it's time to take action? Your life, your choice!  We forget that people don't see the world like we do. We just have our one brain, most of us our two eyes and ears and this one reality and perspective and so we can forget that it's been shaped by others, like our parents, our traditions, our culture, society or best and worst teachers, or peers, our social-economic class and our career path and the people we've met.
A fly sees 164 images where we see one. So who's right? Both the fly and you. You're just not right about the fly's world. We forget all the time that people don't share our worldview because to us, our way of seeing things is just the norm. But it leads to a whole lot of pain when we forget this and judgement of ourselves and others due to misunderstandings and it leads to the (unofficial) 7th and biggest sin there is: Presumptions! Your life, your choice!  An introvert doesn't dislike company but crave the right kind of company.
Small talk is a killer because it's pointless and boring. Introverts can be the life of a party as long as the party is tiny and consistent of trustworthy, lovely people they connect with. Introverts love networking but only when it's important and not shallow. When it's about connecting and not selling or boasting. Introverts love their own company and need their protected lone time. It's not a rejection of you, it's a respect of their selves. Introverts are loyal, empathic and reflective. Introverts can talk your ear of, if you allow them the space to be themselves and you listen with interest and attention. Introverts love an adventure as much as the next person, they may just prefer it more organised. It's not anti-spontaneity but anti-time waste. Introverts aren't shy, but they do smell fake people a mile away and avoid engaging. Some introverts over-analyse, have depression or anxiety, fret a lot, moan, judge, gossip, have anger issues, people please too much and cry often - just like extroverts. That's called a unique personality, don't mistake the two.  Do you want to know the secret to mental strength and happiness, to a successful life and thriving relationships?
We all do! We all buy into this nonsense of secrets, or trends, or 10 step plans or quick fixes. We don't want to waste time on this thing that controls absolutely everything in life: Our minds. The problem is that there is no secret, no quick fixes and trends are called trends because they fade - but the truth doesn't sell well. So, what is The Truth? For a successful and happy life you must:
But who wants that!? Only people who are truly ready, willing and able to change their lives for the better. Your life, your choice!  Do you know what you teach a child when you yell at them? To yell.
Do you know what you teach them by hitting them? That they don't deserve respect. Do you know what happens when you say 'stop behaving like a child' to a child? You show the world that you've never matured into adulthood yourself. 'Do as I say, not as I do' is foolish, wishful thinking. Monkey see, monkey do... Because where do you think you picked up your bad habits? Your life, your choice!  You're allowed to believe whatever you like about how your life, human existence and this world works but I urged you to take a bit of credit, a bit of responsibility and be compassionate.
If things work out for you and you say 'it was meant to be' because you believe in destiny, please don't undermine, under-evaluate or forget to appreciate the hard work you put in to get there. If you believe in 'The Secret' and that the Universe's Law of Attraction will give you anything you ask for as long as you believe hard enough, please don't dismiss the suffering of those living in poverty, surviving or dying in man-made natural disasters, or from abuse or police violence. If you believe in a higher being, enjoy it but don't presume your life and beliefs are better than others. And if you're a non-believer never dismiss the comfort, purpose and direction believers gain. Your life, your choice!  You're not a quitter if you walk away from something that doesn't serve you.
You're a quitter if you can't be bothered putting in the work for something that does. Your life, your choice!  It's easy to wish you'd known better, sooner.
It's easy to say 'if I could go back I'd do things another way'. It's easy to wish for a different outcome. But were you been able to go back and alter events and yourself, you wouldn't be who you are today, able to know and do better. Maybe focus more on what you'll do next time. Your life, your choice! |