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#267 Your Judgement Is Lazy

31/1/2022

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I don't know anyone who likes to be harshly judged or to have wrongful presumptions made about them. And yet, most of us are really good at judging others and make wrongful presumptions about life around us and the people in it. 

How lazy! 
How lazy it is to tease someone because they're not like you but you don't take the time to ask why they do things differently.
How lazy to presume your way is better without first checking if there are other alternatives out there and be open to being challenged.
How lazy to make passive-aggressive comments about other people's choices because they don't align with yours, especially if you haven't taken the time to check how good your choices really are. 

Wouldn't it be a more fun world if we paused our judgemental presumptions and engaged in eye-opening conversations instead? Expanded our horizon, extended our thinking, grew as humans, developed, learned and connected on a deeper level?

Your life, your choice!
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#266 The Privilege of To-Do Lists

30/1/2022

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​My to-do list is longer than my grandmother's and the generations before her because I choose to have a smartphone, social media, do online courses, read for pleasure and knowledge, because I have the opportunity and money to plan and book more holidays, to worry about my style and fashion choices, because of having a car, or house, or boat, or TV full of streaming services.
My to-do list is based on privilege and opportunities.
Sometimes our hard-knock lives are fairly luxurious.
After all, every item on it is a choice.

Your life, your choice!
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#265 The Worst Bully Of Them All...

29/1/2022

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Imagine you had a boss who said: 
'You're useless! Why are you so stupid? You can't do anything right, can you?'

Imagine you heard your best friend's partner say to your friend:
'No one will miss you if you died. You're unwanted and unloved. Maybe you should kill yourself! The world would be better off.'

Imagine you overheard a mother say to her young child:
'I wish you'd never been born. You're such a waste of space.'

We'd react, right? We'd protest. We'd jump in to defend or report. We take action. Because such words are uncalled for, unacceptable, cruel and harmful. 

And yet, this is the inner dialogue of so many which goes unchecked, unchanged and left to flourish. 
Maybe it's time to take action?

Your life, your choice!
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#264 Your RealitY Isn't Universal

28/1/2022

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We forget that people don't see the world like we do. We just have our one brain, most of us our two eyes and ears and this one reality and perspective and so we can forget that it's been shaped by others, like our parents, our traditions, our culture, society or best and worst teachers, or peers, our social-economic class and our career path and the people we've met.

A fly sees 164 images where we see one.
So who's right?
Both the fly and you.
You're just not right about the fly's world.


We forget all the time that people don't share our worldview because to us, our way of seeing things is just the norm.

But it leads to a whole lot of pain when we forget this and judgement of ourselves and others due to misunderstandings and it leads to the (unofficial) 7th and biggest sin there is: Presumptions!

​Your life, your choice!


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#263 Introverts

27/1/2022

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An introvert doesn't dislike company but crave the right kind of company.
Small talk is a killer because it's pointless and boring.

Introverts can be the life of a party as long as the party is tiny and consistent of trustworthy, lovely people they connect with.

Introverts love networking but only when it's important and not shallow. When it's about connecting and not selling or boasting.

Introverts love their own company and need their protected lone time. It's not a rejection of you, it's a respect of their selves.

Introverts are loyal, empathic and reflective.

Introverts can talk your ear of, if you allow them the space to be themselves and you listen with interest and attention.

Introverts love an adventure as much as the next person, they may just prefer it more organised. It's not anti-spontaneity but anti-time waste.

Introverts aren't shy, but they do smell fake people a mile away and avoid engaging.
​

Some introverts over-analyse, have depression or anxiety, fret a lot, moan, judge, gossip, have anger issues, people please too much and cry often -  just like extroverts. That's called a unique personality, don't mistake the two.

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#262 The Secret to a Happy Life...

26/1/2022

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Do you want to know the secret to mental strength and happiness, to a successful life and thriving relationships?
We all do!
We all buy into this nonsense of secrets, or trends, or 10 step plans or quick fixes.
We don't want to waste time on this thing that controls absolutely everything in life: Our minds.

The problem is that there is no secret, no quick fixes and trends are called trends because they fade - but the truth doesn't sell well.

So, what is The Truth?

For a successful and happy life you must:

  • Do the work
  • Commitment and keep re-committing
  • Read easily available information - the real stuff - Research, not pop-psychology from unqualified people
  • Change
  • Take risks and leave your comfort zone - no growth has ever happened in the comfort zone
  • Show vulnerability and accept others' 
  • Long-term work (I mean for life!). Working with our minds are similar to working with our bodies - once you stop, so does progress
  • Lean into discomfort
  • Cry and don't fear feeling pain
  • Accept loss as part of life

But who wants that!?
Only people who are truly ready, willing and able to change their lives for the better.

Your life, your choice! 
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#261 Monkey see, Monkey Do

25/1/2022

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Do you know what you teach a child when you yell at them? To yell.
Do you know what you teach them by hitting them? That they don't deserve respect.
Do you know what happens when you say 'stop behaving like a child' to a child? You show the world that you've never matured into adulthood yourself.


'Do as I say, not as I do' is foolish, wishful thinking.

Monkey see, monkey do... Because where do you think you picked up your bad habits?

Your life, your choice!
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#260 Believe With Respect

24/1/2022

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You're allowed to believe whatever you like about how your life, human existence and this world works but I urged you to take a bit of credit, a bit of responsibility and be compassionate.

If things work out for you and you say 'it was meant to be' because you believe in destiny, please don't undermine, under-evaluate or forget to appreciate the hard work you put in to get there.

If you believe in 'The Secret' and that the Universe's Law of Attraction will give you anything you ask for as long as you believe hard enough, please don't dismiss the suffering of those living in poverty, surviving or dying in man-made natural disasters, or from abuse or police violence.

If you believe in a higher being, enjoy it but don't presume your life and beliefs are better than others.

And if you're a non-believer never dismiss the comfort, purpose and direction believers gain.

Your life, your choice!

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#259 Quitter

23/1/2022

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You're not a quitter if you walk away from something that doesn't serve you.
You're a quitter if you can't be bothered putting in the work for something that does.

​Your life, your choice!
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#258 Wisom Isn't Time Travel

22/1/2022

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It's easy to wish you'd known better, sooner.
It's easy to say 'if I could go back I'd do things another way'.
It's easy to wish for a different outcome.

But were you been able to go back and alter events and yourself, you wouldn't be who you are today, able to know and do better. 

Maybe focus more on what you'll do next time.

Your life, your choice!
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    This is a daily, micro-blog, taking less than 2 minutes to read, offering you insights into how presumptions, beliefs and stories shape our lives and worldview, for better or worse.
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    #00 Welcome
    #01 2-Minute Learning
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    #07 Words Matter
    #08 Confidence Is Overrated
    #09 Those Who Matter And Those Who Don't
    #100 Perfectly Imperfect Posts
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    #109 The Power Of Youth (a Tribute)
    #10 It's Not 'What's Wrong With You?' But 'What Happened To You?'
    #110 The Pointlessness Of Worrying (a Tribute)
    #111 Stretch Yourself (a Tribute)
    #112 Read These Instructions - Even If You Don't Follow Them (a Tribute)
    #113 Expand Your Horizon (a Tribute)
    #115 Who's The Limited One?
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    #11 I Don't Owe You My Time
    #121 Change Your Question
    #123 The No Man
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    #128 The Grass Is Always Greener
    #129 Judgemental Happiness
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    #131 Don't Confuse Concepts
    #132 Dreams Don't Magically Come True
    #133 Suicide Prevention Day
    #134 Yet
    #135 Perspective
    #137 What's The Story You're Telling Yourself?
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    #139 Toxic
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    #140 - You're The Expert
    #141 Labels
    #142 What's Yours And What's Mine
    #143 The Entitlement Trap
    #144 Regrets Are As Useful As A Parachute On A Submarine
    #145 Existential Discontent
    #146 Knowledge Isn't Power
    #147 Breaking Up Is Hard To Do But...
    #148 Seek What You Wish To Have
    #149 The Joy Of Discomfort
    #14 Learn Russian
    #150 Do The Hard Thing
    #151 I Love You
    #152 What's Not OK
    #153 What's Holding You Back?
    #154 Information Isn't Wisdom
    #155 Vulnerability Shaming
    #156 Identity Thieves
    #157 What If Emotional 'Guilt' Didn't Exist?
    #158 Love Thyself
    #159 Level The Playing Field
    #15 Not Everyone's Cup Of Tea
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    #162 Flip The Narrative
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    #17 Daring To Be Ordinary
    #180 Stigma Is Self-inflicted
    #181 Your To-do List Is A Privilege
    #182 Show Off
    #183 Failure Isn't The Problem
    #184 Lazy
    #185 The Self-Help Industry Wants You To Fail
    #186 Rejection Nation
    #187 Being Selfish Isn't Selfish
    #188 You're Going To Die
    #189 Happiness Isn't A Treasure Hunt
    #18 Attention Seeking
    #190 Reason Vs Emotions
    #191 Time Vs Money
    #192 The Risk Of Pain In Love
    #194 Invest In Yourself
    #195 Whose Speed Are You Moving At?
    #196 Does It Add Value
    #197 The Kind Narcissist
    #198 Kindness Is Not Weak
    #199 Over-analysing
    #200 Dance To Your Own Beat
    #201 What If You're Right And Wrong?
    #202 Compassionate Curiosity
    #203 It's Not About Me
    #204 The Fake Apology
    #205 The Empathy Trap
    #206 Confirmation Bias
    #207 Advice
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    #209 Is It Me Who's The Problem?
    #20 Guilt Vs Shame
    #210 Let Us Help Each Other To Live In Peace
    #211 Thinking Causes Failure
    #212 Relationship Check-in
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    #214 Apologies Due
    #215 The Best Revenge...
    #216 A Satisfying Life
    #217 Love
    #218 The Paradox Of Pain
    #219 Chasing Temporary Happiness
    #21 Your 'Don't Wants'
    #220 "Love Hurts..."
    #221 Holidays Are Not Meant To Be Like Phone Chargers
    #222 Vulnerability Without Boundaries Isn't Vulnerability
    #223 Breaking Our Own Hearts
    #224 Don't Waste Your Breath
    #225 You Can't Change Others
    #226 Self-love
    #227 Staying Positive
    #228 Haunted By The Past
    #229 A Wish From Me To You...
    #22 Leaving A Legacy
    #230 Bah Humbug
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    #233 Have You Been Nice To Yourself Today?
    #234 Words Matter
    #236 What Will The New Year Bring?
    #237 Follow The Joy
    #238 New Year's Goal
    #239 The Hero In The Mirror
    #23 Success Is...
    #240 Make A Better List
    #241 Dare To Be Happy
    #242 What Will You Ask For?
    #243 Growth
    #244 Follow The Joy - Part 2
    #245 Choose Your Activity
    #246 Avoiding Joy
    #247 Inner Child
    #248 Follow The Joy (pt 3) - Choose
    #249 Finding Yourself
    #24 Locus Of Control
    #250 Reimagine Success
    #251 "The Beautiful And Damned"
    #252 Walking Wounded
    #253 Actions Of Love
    #254 Monkey See
    #255 Always Remember This...
    #256 Self-awareness
    #257 The By-Product Of Your Choices
    #258 Wisdom Isn't Time Travel
    #259 Quitter
    #25 Open-mindedness: Free Of Charge
    #260 Believe With Respect
    #261 Monkey See
    #262 The Secret To A Happy Life...
    #263 Introverts
    #264 Your Reality Isn't Universal
    #265 The Worst Bully Of Them All
    #266 The Privilege Of To-Do Lists
    #267 Your Judgement Is Lazy
    #268 Fairness
    #269 New Rules For Living
    #270 Your Words Are A Reflection Of Your Character
    #271 The 8th Deadly Sin
    #272 Incurable
    #273 Empathy
    #274 How To Say No...
    #276 The Importance Of Suffering
    #277 Resilience Fatigue
    #278 Your Well-meaning Intentions May Cause Harm
    #279 Wasted Life
    #27 Helpful Self-Talk
    #280 Word Shaming
    #281 Looking The Wrong Way
    #282 Learning Is A Choice
    #283 Time
    #284 Controlling Your Happiness
    #285 Imagine...
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    #287 What Is Lost
    #288 What It Is
    #289 Life's Hard - And Joyous
    #28 Generous Presumptions
    #290 Ego-based Altruism
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    #292 Embracing Guilt
    #293 The Magic Shop
    #294 Fast Judgement
    #295 Actions Speak Louder Than Words
    #296 Looking Without Seeing
    #297 A Better Investment
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    #299 Arbitrary Rules
    #29 How Not To Jump To Conclusion
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    #301 Friendship
    #302 Illiteracy
    #303 Running Away From Happpiness
    #304 This Is Not How It's Suppose To Be
    #305 Love
    #306 The Faceless 'Other'
    #307 The Problem With Worries
    #308 Owning Your Pain
    #309 The Downfall Of Control
    #30 History Is The Greatest Teacher - No One Listens To
    #310 Character Choice
    #311 Failure Fallacy
    #312 What You're Measuring Yourself Against
    #31 Our Ancient Brains
    #32 I Did The Best I Could
    #33 Loud Voices
    #34 Your Feelings
    #35 What Would You Dare If...
    #36 The Hook
    #37 Mind Your Words
    #38 Assumptions Are Not Facts
    #39 Is It Really True?
    #40 The Glory Of Mistakes
    #41 That's Not An Interesting Question
    #42 A Better Question
    #43 Flip The Script
    #44 Don't
    #45 The Fear Of Tears
    #46 Time To Think
    #47 Daring To Be Wrong
    #49 F*ck The Joneses
    50-feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway
    50-feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway
    #51 Maybe It's Not About You?
    #52 It's Never Personal
    #53 Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway
    #54 You Are Hardwired For Unhappiness
    #56 Uncertainty & Control
    #57 Who's Responsible For The First Step?
    #58 The Power Of Curiosity
    #59 Caution
    #60 Shadow
    #61 From Drama To Winner
    #62 GRRR!
    #63 Treat Others As You'd Like To Be Treated
    #64 Compliments
    #65 The Benefit Of The Doubt
    #66 Listen
    #67 Be Wary Of The Expert
    #69 Indecision
    #70 What's New?
    #71 Grief Bacon
    #72 Labels
    #73 What Are You Willing To Pay?
    #74 Be The Change You Want To See
    #75 The Light Side Of Shame
    #76 Put A Lid On It
    #77 Individualism Vs The Collective
    #77 The Paradox Of Humans
    #78 Unhelpful
    #79 Change Toxicity
    #80 Neither Good Nor Bad
    #81 Who Are You Hurting?
    #82 Celebrating The Ordinary
    #83 The Power Of Thoughts
    #84 No (Wo)Man Is An Island
    #85 Who Wants Change?
    #86 The Quick Solution Isn't Necessarily The Right Or Best One
    #87 Take Responsibility For The Energy You Bring
    #88 Embracing Mistakes
    #89 Living Your Best Life
    #90 What's Your Conclusion?
    #91 Make Your Own Box
    #92 The One Minute Hack
    #93 Whole
    #94 Emotional Labour
    #95 Change
    #96 The Secret To Happiness
    #98 Perfectionism Is Superiority
    #99 Comparison Is The Thief Of... Whatever You Allow It To Steal
    And Yet...
    It's About You
    LOVE!
    Monkey Do
    Monkey Do!
    Persist
    Resourceful And Creative
    #Respect Children
    Your Choice

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