We help because we care. We don't want people we love to feel pain. We feel helpless otherwise.
But, often, we're also motivated to help because it makes us feel good about ourselves: We know more than them; we're clever; we're better; it feels good to feel needed.
When we offer unsolicited advice, unwarranted help, unasked solutions, we don't show empathy but only that we think ourselves more capable than the other.
Don't help if someone hasn't asked for it.
Try just being there for someone.
Try listening without offering answers.
Try asking: What do you need from me right now?
Seth Godin coined the term permission marketing (the opposite of spam).
Maybe it's time to talk about 'permission opinions' or 'permission support' (the opposite of spamming someone with your opinions to their problems, whether it's well-meaning or not)?
Your life, your choice!
This is a daily, micro-blog, taking less than 2 minutes to read, offering you insights into how presumptions, beliefs and stories shape our lives and worldview, for better or worse.