There's a triangle called Karpman's Drama Triangle. In it, there are three positions: Persecutor, Victim and Rescuer.
The idea is that most of us operate within this triangle and thus keep creating or participating in drama.
A Persecutor is judgemental and talks in blame language: This is your fault!
A Victim feels very sorry for themselves and feels stuck: Why does this always happen to me?
A Rescuer presumes the role of hero, of friendly helper and all-round 'good guy' and says: I'll fix this!
You may see why the first two pose a problem. Who has ever walked away from a fight, enjoying feeling blamed? And who hasn't been around people who complain all the time and yet does nothing to change their situation? Such drama, right? But the Rescuer? How is that a problem? Surely, the Rescuer IS the good guy?
Jumping to rescue means feeling superior. It means presuming you know best.
And maybe you do, but do you think it'll empower the person you're rescuing, or make them feel like a victim?
Often rescuing comes with the added benefits of ignoring your own sense of 'why does bad things happen to me?' while busy rescuing others as an avoidance technique.
Why not try the Winner Triangle?
Become the non-judgemental Assertive over Persecutor: I feel that....
Become the honest Vulnerable over Victim: I accept me as I am...
Become the Nurturer who doesn't need to be needed and only offers help when asked over Rescuer: What do you need?
Try it and see your word and your relationships change...
Until next time, stay safe - and sane - and make kind choices!
This is a daily, micro-blog, taking less than 2 minutes to read, offering you insights into how presumptions, beliefs and stories shape our lives and worldview, for better or worse.