In the coaching industry there's a saying: The client is whole, resourceful and creative.
As a counsellor, I think of some of the individual I've spoken to who'd describe themselves as broken, clueless and useless.
I think what a mantra like that - theirs as well as the coaching industry's - does or would do to their mental state.
Their mantra makes them feel bad but the coaching industry's mantra might make them feel even worse!
Some research suggests that if we try and make ourselves believe something that is too far away from our self-view it can cause even more damage as we now feel like liars. So I may not offer my clients this mantra, if I think they will disagree.
Some will say the coaching mantra is for the coach's sake - only work with clients who feel whole, resourceful and creative, and send the rest to counselling. This might be a good idea if the coach isn't suitably trained. It might also send a strong message that the coach certainly don't think this person is whole, resourceful or creative - thank you very much.
I offer this, silently, to my clients and friends and the homeless person I pass on the street: I believe in you. I believe in your potential and capabilities to feel whole and complete because that's how you felt when you were born. I know you're resourceful, I see it, we just need to get you to see it too. And we're all creative, we may not all think it's beautiful but we can all sway to music, all smear paint, all put words that go together after one another, we can all press the keys or strung the strings of an instrument even if it doesn't sound like something we'd label 'good'. Creativity isn't about the result, it's about the process.
It changed my relationship with my worldview to believe in others wholeness, resourcefulness and creativity. I don't need to voice it to know it. But I do believe that me holding on to this belief when I interact with another person is healing in itself because this belief changes how I interact with that person.
I wonder what it'd do to your worldview if you were to do the same?
Your life, your choice.
Until next time, stay safe - and sane - and be kind, to yourself and others.
After all, you're fucking brilliant!
This is a daily, micro-blog, taking less than 2 minutes to read, offering you insights into how presumptions, beliefs and stories shape our lives and worldview, for better or worse.