I was asked today: 'How do I make someone aware that their mood is really negative without upsetting them?'
A sort of conflict management question. I had about one minute to answer in as it was part of a group process. I thought hard! Usually I spend hours talking through these interactions and exploring the drama triangle, nonviolent communication and other tools.
So, I said: 'Why not stay compassionate and ask with genuine curiosity what's going on for them? Are they OK? What's happened that's made them so stressed/angry/upset/negative?'
It can be hard to force compassion or kindness when we ourselves are feeling triggered by others' moods. It's a lot easier (that's not to say it is easy, just easier) to tap into curiosity - of really wanting to know what's going on for someone else; see the world through their eyes. And when we do that compassion tends to follow with more ease.
We can't control other people's moods but we can control how we interact and react to them and compassionate curiosity is a great way to take back control when other people are bringing the drama.
Your life, your choice!
This is a daily, micro-blog, taking less than 2 minutes to read, offering you insights into how presumptions, beliefs and stories shape our lives and worldview, for better or worse.